When he had an ideological disagreement with one of my characters, he started attacking me personally (in a patronizing guise of wanting to “help me”) then dropped me as a friend because I wouldn’t follow his “program ” — change my character, change myself, or lose his friendship.

I lost the friendship because I refused to change the character or myself.

It was the worst experience with another writer I’ve ever had. It hurt me deeply, and it caused a writing slump which lasted for months. I look back on it, and I wonder why I was so taken in, why I thought this person was a friend. Vulnerable time in my life, I guess. ACK.

But there’s hope. Finally I threw this person’s double-tongued voice out of my head, and I haven’t stopped writing since. And for the most part, I’ve chosen wisely when it comes to my critique partners and writing friends — I’ve got some great ones, and I cherish them dearly.

This is VERY good advice. I’m a fairly solitary person when it comes to doing the actual writing, no matter how much I love community and talking shop, so it’s important to me to have friends who can be there while I’m in deep.