Support System
There are all sorts of things that can derail your focus and your enthusiasm for writing. Part of being successful is learning how to ignore all of them. One of the less obvious problems is what I call the falsely concerned friend issue. This is the person (or persons) in your life who tries to sound helpful and encouraging but who really is trying to break your confidence. I’ve been extremely lucky in this regard, but I have writing friends who have experienced this nasty treatment from people they once trusted.
I found this quote from Mark Twain that addresses the issue:
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
Bottom line: Remember to surround yourself with people who support you and your dreams. This career path can be hard enough without that added stress.
May 1st, 2008 at 5:10 pm
How did you know that I was battling this situation? I mean, just yesterday I had a mini-meltdown about it! Thanks so much HelenKay!!!
May 1st, 2008 at 6:20 pm
My friends have been very good encouragement - they told me they were going to hijack the finished manuscript and send it to an agent if I didn’t! And they planned a get together for May 24 and said that I had better have the draft finished by then so we can celebrate.
This is VERY good advice. I’m a fairly solitary person when it comes to doing the actual writing, no matter how much I love community and talking shop, so it’s important to me to have friends who can be there while I’m in deep.
May 1st, 2008 at 7:37 pm
hell to the yes!
May 2nd, 2008 at 3:00 am
I went through this last year. I had a terrible experience with a critique partner I thought was a friend — he built me up to the moon as a writer and as a friend, then he squashed me flat.
When he had an ideological disagreement with one of my characters, he started attacking me personally (in a patronizing guise of wanting to “help me”) then dropped me as a friend because I wouldn’t follow his “program ” — change my character, change myself, or lose his friendship.
I lost the friendship because I refused to change the character or myself.
It was the worst experience with another writer I’ve ever had. It hurt me deeply, and it caused a writing slump which lasted for months. I look back on it, and I wonder why I was so taken in, why I thought this person was a friend. Vulnerable time in my life, I guess. ACK.
But there’s hope. Finally I threw this person’s double-tongued voice out of my head, and I haven’t stopped writing since. And for the most part, I’ve chosen wisely when it comes to my critique partners and writing friends — I’ve got some great ones, and I cherish them dearly.